Redemption Camp, Ogun State, NG

Here are some questions you need to ask before making final decisions to marry. We’d be covering the first part today, and we’d continue with the second part by next week Monday.

Here goes:

Do I love her/him?

Why do you need to ask yourself this question? I mean, doesn’t it seem like a no-brainer that you love the person you want to marry?

Well, it seems like a weird question until you really look at what love truly means based on 1 cor 13: 4.

Love isn’t about the butterflies in your stomach. It has nothing to do with how cute the lady is or how handsome the guy is.

You have to look inwards to know if your actions towards the person you claim to be in love with is in synchrony with the attributes of love in 1 Cor 13:4. And you can know this because Love is a Verb, not a Noun.

Does she/she love me?

You need to ask this question. But the most important question to ask before this is: “What does true love mean to me?”

If you don’t see true love for what it really is, then you might be tempted to believe that a partner who raises his/her voice in anger at you or threatens to throw things at you during an argument truly loves you.

But true love is patient,kind, it’s not boastful or envious, and it’s not proud. You can see what true love by God’s standards means in 1 Cor 13: 4.

Is she/he the will of God for my life?

You cannot assume when it comes to being sure that a person is the will of God for your life. You have to be 150% sure that God will have you marry this person because marriage isn’t just about you, it’s also about the millions of people that are connected to you. So you really don’t want to play mini-mani-mo when it comes to knowing the will of God for your life in marriage.

Are we compatible (Genotype, mindset)

Seriously, don’t overlook this part. You have to be sure that you are compatible on a genotype and mindset level.

That’s why people in courtship relationships should do more of talking than touching. You need to know how your spouse-to-be thinks about family, commitments, family members, and life in general.

Are we going to the same destiny destination?

This basically speaks to purpose. If you want to know the accurate answer to this question, you have to first know what your purpose really is. If you have no idea of what God has put you on planet earth to do, you can never know if you and the person you want to be married to are on the same destiny destination.

Please, know your purpose.

Am I willing to accept his/her family as my family, his/her parents as my parents?

This is self-explanatory. You cannot edit the family of the person you want to be married to out of your marital picture. They are there to stay forever, yeah, including the in-laws that you might not feel totally comfortable with.

So you really want to be sure that you are willing to accept his/her family as yours, without any bias or special treatment.

Do we have the same faith foundation, do we believe same thing?

First, let me crush this once and for all. Your faith foundation is key oo. It is not just enough to be both believers, you must have the same fundamental beliefs about concepts like kingdom giving, tithing, money, relationship, mentorship, and so on.

We’d stop here for today, and continue this gist by next week Monday! Happy New Month again!



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